....and the communication from the new one stopped. Now I can write about him.... but I can't for some reason. Why can't I write about this man? What am I feeling? What's going on?

This is just such a strange time in my life. So many choices to make. What if I make the wrong one? My therapist said wait until I know one is right, in my gut. I think my gut is a sucker for love; a hopeless romantic. It got me in trouble 10 years ago..... why listen to it now? At some point, I knew I should have left, but I chose not to. I chose to follow my vows- for better or worse. Now I know better.

I have given myself a year timeline to seriously look at leaving Austin. I have some great friends here, but it does not feel like my home; never has.

I need to use the energy I feel from this new person, to work on me. I need to keep the high I feel right now. I have been getting things done. I have been going to bed early/ not self medicating/ not giving myself away.

Tonight, the ex comes over to move some of his stuff out of the workroom. I need his things to go away. I need to cleanse my space and take it over.