I am not sure why I have been sitting on this, but I had a good talk with Mr Man on Monday. I basically asked for nookie and he told me he had stomach issues (for the past month). This lead to a very profound, adult conversation. 

I started by telling him that I love him but as things have been going the past 6 years, I do not see us growing old together because I am unhappy. I understand that he works really hard on his business, but while he is doing that, I am left at home to handle everything else. He probably does not even think about it, but who takes out the trash, does the dishes and cleans the catbox? I do. I stayed calm and collected for the first time ever. I did not get emotional, I did not raise my voice. I told him that I need someone that can be more equal to me and someone that I know can take care of me should something bad happen. I went over why I was upset about his preferential treatment to one of his single friends (he left the house at 10:30pm the night of my triathlon, to go to the shop and leave his shop truck and key for her since her car broke down again). I told him that I really like that he helps his friends, but he does not go out of his way like that for other people. I told him I was not going to argue about things with him anymore. Being mad all the time has taken such a toll on me emotionally and physically, that it's just not worth it. I like myself again and I do not want anything negative to break the cycle I am in. I went on to explain how the $ situation has affected me, how I really miss having someone to hang out with and do the daily crap with (like going to the grocery store), and I finally got to a point where I was ok with separate vacations because the break from one another is good..... but at first, I resented him for it. 

He said he needed time to digest everything I told him. He looked scared. He has never seen me just talk about things so emotionless. We went on to just talk about random things, like we used to. Just laying there, talking. It was cool. 

Sad thing, he did not get home until midnight last night. I think he heard the part about money being an issue, but ignored the part about needing to spend time with me. It's possible that he just is not able to find that balance. I have a lot to decide. The common ground we have is shrinking. I have to go into his world in order to spend time with him. He is not willing to break out of his comfort zone and go do things with me, plus he is exhausted by the hours he keeps.

I love him, but he has not been able to give me the things I need to stay happy long term.